—"That's impossible. He has no quick. He's a messenger boy."


A lady one day being in need of some small change called down-stairs to the cook and enquired: "Mary, have you any 'coppers' down there?" "Yes, mum, I've two; but if you please, mum, they're both me cousins," was the unexpected reply.


"When I was eating my dinner to-day the butter ran."

"That's nothing. I was up-town last night and saw a cake walk."


She—"They say that your father is a millionaire. Is it true?"

He—"Yes; and, strange to say, I am one also."

She—"How do you make that out?"