He—"Why, I am the only child, therefore I am a million heir, of course."
Girls and billiard balls kiss each other with just about the same amount of real feeling.
Mistress—"I am not quite satisfied with your references."
Applicant—"Naythur am I, mum; but they's the best I could get!"
"What are you writing such a big hand for, Pat?" "Why, you see my grandmother is dafe, and I'm writing a loud letter to her."
"There was a terrible murder in the hotel to-day."