"Was there."

"Yes; a paper-hanger hung a border."

"It must have been a put-up job!"


As man and wife are one, the husband when seated with his wife, must be beside himself.


"Well, Pat, and how is that bull-pup of yours doing?"

"Oh, he's dead! The illigant baste wint an' swallowed a tape-measure!"

"Oh, I see! He died by inches, then?"

"No; begorra, he didn't! He wint round to the back of the house an' died by the yard!"