"It's thrue," said Paddy to Dennis one day, "it wor a grand soight. But whoile ye're standin' sit down, an' Oi'll tell ye all about it."
"What did you wear last night?" asked the celery. "A lovely mayonnaise," replied the lettuce. "And you?" "Never was so mortified in all my life; I wasn't dressed at all," said the celery; and the beet blushed.
A woman never fully understands the hardness of the world until she falls off a bicycle a few times.
Mrs. Fussy—"John you're the most unreasonable man I ever met in my life."
Mr. Fussy—"I don't doubt it. I'm the only one that ever married you."