Pat—"'Twas the divil of a blow the dago gave yer. Yer wuz near Kilt."
Mike—"Begorra, I wish I had died that I moite see the villain hung."
Jim—"Why do you wear your stocking wrong side outward?"
Pat—"Because there's a hole on the other side."
"Held by the enemy"—the ulster which we are unable to redeem.
"How could you endure talking so long with that ugly old woman with that frightful costume without laughing in her face?" "Oh, that's easy. She is my wife."