Teacher—When does suicide become a crime?
Smart Boy—When it becomes a confirmed habit.
"Nonsense, sir. Why is suicide a crime?"
"Because it injures the health."
The modern drummer is not much like the month of March. March is said to come in a lion and go out a lamb, while the drummer comes in a lyin' and goes out a lyin'.
How to signal a bark—pull a dog's tail.
"Say, pop, do people take snuff nowadays?"