—Well, he used to crack jokes on his fingers.
"I'm nearly starved. Just got in from a three-hour trip on the New York Central."
"But couldn't you get anything to eat on the train?"
"Nope! It was a 'fast' train."
"What do you think of the statement that there are three hundred haunted houses in New York?" asked Mr. Knickerbocker.
"Oh," replied Jones, "that only ghost to show how plentiful spirits are here."
"I saw a big rat in my cook-stove and when I went for my revolver he ran out."