—Carolyn Wells.
TWINS
"Faith, Mrs. O'Hara, how d' ye till thim twins aparrt?"
"Aw, 't is aisy—I sticks me finger in Dinnis's mouth, an' if he bites I know it's Moike."—Harvard Lampoon.
UMBRELLAS
A man left his umbrella in the stand in a hotel recently, with a card bearing the following inscription attached to it: "This umbrella belongs to a man who can deal a blow of 250 pounds weight. I shall be back in ten minutes." On returning to seek his property he found in its place a card thus inscribed: "This card was left here by a man who can run twelve miles an hour. I shall not be back."
A reputable citizen had left four umbrellas to be repaired. At noon he had luncheon in a restaurant, and as he was departing he absent-mindedly started to take an umbrella from a hook near his hat.
"That's mine, sir," said a woman at the next table.
He apologized and went out. When he was going home in a street car with his four repaired umbrellas, the woman he had seen in the restaurant got in. She glanced from him to his umbrellas and said: