"Is there anything quite so queerly cosmopolitan as a New York cafe? In the last one I visited, I saw a Portuguese, a German and an Italian, dressed in English clothes and seated at a table of Spanish walnut, lunching on Russian caviar, French rolls, Scotch salmon, Welsh rabbit, Swiss cheese, Dutch cake and Malaga raisins. They drank China tea and Irish whisky."
COST OF LIVING
"Did you punish our son for throwing a lump of coal at Willie Smiggs?" asked the careful mother.
"I did," replied the busy father. "I don't care so much for the Smiggs boy, but I can't have anybody in this family throwing coal around like that."
"Live within your income," was a maxim uttered by Mr. Carnegie on his seventy-sixth birthday. This is easy; the difficulty is to live without it.—Satire.
"You say your jewels were stolen while the family was at dinner?"
"No, no! This is an important robbery. Our dinner was stolen while we were putting on our jewels."