CITIZEN—"What's the matter, John? Lost?"
CHINAMAN—"No! me here. Depot lost."
LOVE
Love is an insane desire on the part of a chump to pay a woman's board-bill for life.
MR. SLIMPURSE—"But why do you insist that our daughter should marry a man whom she does not like? You married for love, didn't you?"
MRS. SLIMPURSE—"Yes; but that is no reason why I should let our daughter make the same blunder."
MAUDE—"Jack is telling around that you are worth your weight in gold."