The three degrees in medical treatment—Positive, ill; comparative, pill; superlative, bill.
"What caused the coolness between you and that young doctor? I thought you were engaged."
"His writing is rather illegible. He sent me a note calling for 10,000 kisses."
"Well?"
"I thought it was a prescription, and took it to the druggist to be filled."
A tourist while traveling in the north of Scotland, far away from anywhere, exclaimed to one of the natives: "Why, what do you do when any of you are ill? You can never get a doctor."
"Nae, sir," replied Sandy. "We've jist to dee a naitural death."