EDITOR—"So it is. What's the matter?"
ORATOR—"I made a speech at the dinner last night, and you didn't print a line of it."
EDITOR—"Well, what further proof do you want?"
TRAVELING LECTURER FOR SOCIETY (to the remaining listener)—"I should like to thank you, sir, for so attentively hearing me to the end of a rather too long speech."
LOCAL MEMBER OF SOCIETY—"Not at all, sir. I'm the second speaker."
Ex-senator Spooner of Wisconsin says the best speech of introduction he ever heard was delivered by the German mayor of a small town in Wisconsin, where Spooner had been engaged to speak.
The mayor said:
"Ladies und shentlemens, I haf been asked to indrotoose you to the Honorable Senator Spooner, who vill make to you a speech, yes. I haf now done so; he vill now do so."