An Italian noble at church one day gave a priest who begged for the souls in purgatory, a piece of gold.
"Ah, my lord," said the good father, "you have now delivered a soul."
The count threw another piece upon the plate.
"Here is another soul delivered," said the priest.
"Are you positive of it?" replied the count.
"Yes, my lord," replied the priest; "I am certain they are now in heaven."
"Then," said the count, "I'll take back my money, for it signifies nothing to you now, seeing the souls have already got to heaven."
An Episcopal missionary in Wyoming visited one of the outlying districts in his territory for the purpose of conducting prayer in the home of a large family not conspicuous for its piety. He made known his intentions to the woman of the house, and she murmured vaguely that "she'd go out and see." She was long in returning, and after a tiresome wait the missionary went to the door and called with some impatience: