"Aye," answered the fool, "I ken the difference in value. But if I took the saxpence they would never try me again."
The Mrs. never misses
Any bargain sale,
For the female of the species
Is more thrifty than the male.
McANDREWS (the chemist, at two A.M.)—"Two penn'orth of bicarbonate of soda for indigestion at this time o' night, when a glass of hot water does just as well!"
SANDY (hastily)—"Well, well! Thanks for the advice. I'll not bother ye, after all. Gude nicht!"