Dear Cap—Why is it that professors claim touch to be the most delicate of all the senses?—Hook M. Cowe.

Well, here’s why: when you sit on a pin you can’t see it, you can’t hear it, you can’t taste it—but it is there.

* * *

Dear Captain—What is a button?—Holly Woode.

A small event that always comes off.

* * *

Dear Capt. Billy—The waiters in our city of Brainerd have just organized a union and wish you would kindly suggest some sort of a yell to hand the cooks when they raise the dickens with us.—Tillie Olson.

My feeble effort:

Grape nut, Grape nut,