A diplomat, Phillis, is a man who, when he gets home late, sneaks into bed backwards so that if his wife awakes he can tell her he is just getting up.
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Dear Capt. Billy—Will you please tell me who invented apple sauce?—Anna Nyas.
William Tell. He shot the apple off his son’s head and they all had apple sauce for supper.
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Dear Captain Bill—Don’t you think a woman is everything in the world?—Tiddledewinks.
Yes, indeed—everything I can think of.
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Dear Capt. Billy—What is the easiest way to drive a nail without smashing my fingers?—Ab Doman.
Hold the hammer in both hands.