MAKING SURE.
During the Protestant riots of 1780, most persons in London, in order to save their houses from being burnt or pulled down, wrote on their doors, “No Popery!” Old Grimaldi, the mimic, to avoid all mistakes, wrote on his, “No Religion.”
OLD, BUT NOT TO BE TIRED ON.
A traveller, coming into the kitchen of an inn on a very cold night, stood so close to the fire that he burned his boots. A little boy, who sat in the chimney corner, cried out to him, “Take care, sir, or you will burn your spurs.” “My boots you mean, I suppose,” said the traveller. “O no, sir,” replied the arch rogue, “they be burnt already.”
ANOTHER.
One poor beau told another that his new coat was too short for him. “True,” answered he of the short skirts: “I assure you, however, it will be long enough before I get another.”
LOCALITY OF FEELING.
A melting sermon being preached in a country church, all wept except one man, who was asked why he did not weep with the rest. “Oh!” said he, “I belong to another parish.”
CONSOLATION.
A gentleman, lying on his death-bed, called his coachman, who had been an old servant, and said—“Ah, Tom! I am going a long and rugged journey, worse than ever you drove me.” “Oh, dear sir,” replied Tom, “don’t let that discourage you; it is all down hill.”