They Planned a Little Surprise for Him
On a west-bound train scheduled for a long trip a very large, muscular man fell asleep and annoyed all the passengers by snoring tremendously. Reading, conversation or quiet rest was an impossibility. Finally a drummer, carrying half a lemon in his hand, tiptoed over to a little boy who sat behind the snorer.
“Son,” said the drummer impressively, “I am a doctor, and if that man doesn’t stop snoring he’ll die of apoplexy. Watch your chance, and as soon as his mouth opens a little wider, lean over and squeeze this lemon into it.”
He Knew Only One
A teacher had been telling her class of boys that recently worms had become so numerous that they destroyed the crops, and it was necessary to import the English sparrow to exterminate them. The sparrows multiplied very fast and were gradually driving away our native birds.
Johnny was apparently very inattentive, and the teacher, thinking to catch him napping, said;
“Johnny, which is worse, to have worms or sparrows?”
Johnny hesitated a moment and then replied:
“Please, I never had the sparrows.”