To the eugenist, a thought obtrudes itself at this point. It is the logical, the link between the cause and the effect. Why do we waste so much time arguing and fighting over non-essentials? Why is the world such a big quarreling-pot over nothing? And the eugenist suggests, if it is not possible, that the explanation may be found, in the fact, that the human family, as a race, is below par; that so many of us are incomplete; that it is the product of the combined mental effort of the unworthy element that makes all the trouble? It is scarcely logical to assume, that an individual who has been brought into the world by healthy, worthy parents, and whose ancestry for generations have been clean, honest people; and whose upbringing and education has been adequate to fit him to become a respectable, decent citizen, could, or would be a trouble maker. On the other hand, can we expect, or are we justified in hoping that an individual whose ancestral record is bad, whose environmental conditions are faulty, whose education has been neglected, who is in all probability physically and mentally deficient, will be capable of conforming to the standards of the other individual? From an imperfect whole, may we not naturally expect bad parts? From a diseased body and mind, may we not look for a low standard of thought and action? And may not these conditions account for the greater part of the little, as as the big, troubles that mar the peace and progress of the race? Will not the elimination of the eugenically unworthy rid the world of its heartaches and sorrows? It is not only a suggestive thought, it is an inspiration for the exercise of the supreme intelligence of the statesman, the sociologist, the teacher and the preacher alike.
Differences of Principle.—There are more serious differences than those of taste, however. There are differences of principle.
They do not reveal themselves before the promise "for better or for worse." The sentimental days of courtship did not bring them out. But now that they have settled down to the routine of ordinary living, nature brings them to the surface and the issue must be met. It is discovered that the wife is a devout Christian and a faithful church attendant while the husband insists on his wife spending Sunday in the country, or at the seashore. The woman tries to get her husband to go to church but she fails. He tried to get her to accompany him but he does not succeed. There is a rift in the lute, little sorrowful heart pangs on the part of the woman, and the man feels sore and grouchy and wanders away alone, then finally open quarrels and indifference. Two lives are pulling apart. Someone must give in; but which one? The observance of her religious duties to the wife is a matter of principle. The husband's method of spending Sunday is simply habit. He has no right to interfere with her liberty in this respect. The one to give in is the one whose conscience is not trampled upon. If the husband refuses to go to church with his wife, he can do so amicably, and in such a tactful way that his wife cannot reasonably feel permanently offended, but he must not object to his wife going to church, nor has he the right to insist on being accompanied in his outing by his wife. On the other hand, the wife must not nag or quarrel with him continuously on the subject of religion. Those little incidents will come up in the experience of every married couple. They are not serious or insurmountable in themselves, but they can be made serious by mismanagement.
The true wife is the home-maker, not simply the housekeeper. She is responsible for its attractiveness and its comfort, its morals and its existence. The marriage vow "does not make a wife, but comradeship in the bearing of the burdens of life, does." She must be Love and Justice and Truth to her children, and companion and friend and helpmeet to her husband.
We, therefore, advise the young wife to begin wedded life with definite plans and ideals.
The Attainment of Success.—In the first place, you do want your particular matrimonial venture to be a success. Success in one sense is getting what you want. You must, however, know exactly what you want. Very few people know what they want, but those few are the ones who manage to "get there." If you ask a dozen of your friends what their plan of life is, what they are working for, what they really want, not one of them probably could tell you with any degree of exactness. Most people go along in an indefinite way, working from day to day, more or less dissatisfied, and with absolutely no feeling of certainty as to what the future holds in store for them.
Human effort is an example of energy misdirected and it is the greatest potential energy in the universe. Really to want something means that we must be willing to sacrifice everything necessary to attain our wish, and to concentrate and direct all our efforts in its attainment. To do this, we must be efficient, we must be healthy, we must strive day and night, and we must want intensely to achieve success.
During the first few weeks of married life the young wife, if she is a wise little lady, will take stock. She will begin to think, and she will naturally speculate about the future. She will try to determine the facts in her particular life that are the important ones so far as the attainment of success is concerned. Her material success of course is dependent upon the efficiency of her husband. Now, a married man's efficiency depends almost entirely on his wife. If a man attains great material success, he will acknowledge, if he acknowledges the truth, that his wife is deserving of most of the credit. The husbands of most good, sensible wives are successful. If a man is, unfortunately, married to a woman who is not a helpmeet, who is not a well-balanced wife and mother, and achieves success, he does so by reason of his innate strength of character and in spite of the unjust drain on his efficiency. Most men under these circumstances however lose heart and interest and become failures.
The young wife, therefore, will definitely plan in just what way she can contribute to her husband's efficiency.
What Are the Requisites of Efficiency? Good Health.—He must have regular meals. The food must be carefully selected and suitable to his personal needs according to the character of the work in which he is engaged. The food must be properly and thoroughly cooked. If he does not understand the science of eating, the wife must educate him. Remember his success means your success, his failure, your failure. If you were in charge of a highly complicated machine, you would not allow it to be ruined by careless misuse. You may have married a healthy animal, but animals are tricky and uncertain. He is still your lover and he will do anything reasonable for you, if you "go about it in the right spirit and in the right way." Be sure you "go about it in the right way." Be tactful, be patient, don't nag. Don't tell him of his faults, simply note them then determine what you want to accomplish. In a little while, he will become enthusiastic and will be telling his friends how to eat, and what to eat, and, later, he may try to convince you that he thought of the idea first. This is the typical man. You will learn how to manage him, and your first success will encourage you—he will be a child in your hands—if you only "go about it right." And this applies to everything you do that has any relation to domestic peace and happiness and final success.