Good Enough to Give Away
A woman entered a provision shop and asked for a pound of butter, "an' look ye here, guidman," she exclaimed, "see an' gie me it guid, for the last pound was that bad I had to gie't awa' to the wifie next door."
A Dry Preacher
On one occasion when coming to church, Dr. Macknight, who was a much better commentator than preacher, having been caught in a shower of rain, entered the vestry, soaked through. Every means were used to relieve him from his discomfort; but as the time drew on for divine service, he became very querulous, and ejaculated over and over again: "Oh! I wish that I was dry! Do you think that I am dry? Do you think that I am dry eneuch noo?" Tired by these endless complaints, his jocose colleague, Dr. Henry, the historian, at last replied: "Bide a wee, doctor, and ye'se be dry eneuch, gin ye once get into the pu'pit." [[9]]
A Poetical Question and Answer
Mr. Dewar, a shop-keeper at Edinburgh, being in want of silver for a bank note, went into the shop of a neighbor of the name of Scott, whom he thus addressed:
"Master Scott,
Can you change me a note?"
Mr. Scott's reply was:
"I'm not very sure, but I'll see."
Then going into his back room he immediately returned and added: