“You have Thanksgive dinner so you can set around making bewails. So foolish to do! Why you no choose this date for to kick out Misfortune?”
“I shall do so!” abrupt Hon. Goober, arising upwards. “First Misfortune to kick will be in your direction.”
Next he rejected me through window by force of Swedish jiu-jitsu. Hon. Fido arrive by next kick, and Hon. Turkey flew afterward, striking me on hair so earnestly he left me quite brainless.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly,
Hashimura Togo.
XIV
Togo Seeks Tea and Finds Tango
To Editor Good Housekeeping Magazine who must realize the extreme difficulty of keeping home dull,
Dear Sir:—I have leaped so continuously from jobs to jobs since you last heard from me that I am becoming a very talented bounder. The nearly last place to which I was attached rejected me away because of my extreme industry in sweeping carpets while company was there to sneeze. Boss Lady at that place was kind but brutal, so she give me following letter of recomment to quit with:
To Who This May Supply:—
This introduces our Mr. Togo (retired). If you want to see what a housemaid he is, try him. He is capable of anything. Please treat him like I did.