1—10.30 P.M. enormous number of Revolutionals meets at Smithsky’s Vodka Parlours. Speeches, vodka & debate. All infernal machines cleaned & repaired. Debate, vodka & speeches. Famous Liberal Leaders made welcome. Vodka & debate. Red Wing of Holy Terror do some very serious politicks. Vodka.
2—11.30 they all forget to go to grocery store of Samsky Jonesoff where Declaration of Independence is waiting to be signed.
3—12.30 they forget how to pronounce “Potempotemptomjinvery,” so they don’t.
4—1.30 they forget to go to bed.
5—9.30 they forget to go to Nevsky Prospeckt and Czar forgets to go by in procession to Hague.
Sometime, Mr. Editor, this Program are one trifle more fortunate. Sometime 12 or 13 of common people of Russia remember to go to Nevsky Prospeckt at 9.30, carrying mottoes, flags, infernal machinery & other patriotick devices. Pretty soonly along come Little Father in bomb-proof carriage.
“Gen. Creepoff,” he say to Chief of Police, “what are all them tick-tock sounds I hear like busy day in Waterbury Watch factory?”
“Them,” say Gen. Creepoff, “are infernal machinery of Russian people waiting to give your Majesty God-speed.”