All the expenses pertaining to a wedding are borne by the bride's parents. The bridegroom, however, pays the clergyman's fee and provides his own carriage, cab, or hansom from his rooms to the church. This vehicle is also sent to the house of the best man.
All expenses after the marriage are, of course, defrayed by the bridegroom. It has been strict etiquette for the bride and bridegroom not to use the family carriage, which usually takes them from the church, to fetch them to the railroad station, but one provided by the bridegroom. It is frequently a matter of courtesy for the bride's parents to offer this for the occasion.
The bridegroom should, as soon as the wedding day is appointed, choose his best man and his ushers. The vogue is to ask his nearest unmarried male relative or his most intimate bachelor friend to serve in the capacity of best man. More recently a number of very fashionable New Yorkers have had married men take that position, and thus the innovation has sanction through the action of the "smart set." A married best man is said to be an English fad, but I find that it could be more correctly termed an Anglo-Indian mode, as this new idea is much more popular in Calcutta and Bombay than in London.
In the selection of ushers, a man asks usually some few of his intimates or club friends, and through courtesy to his prospective bride a male member of her family, frequently her brother. Six ushers are the usual number, although four are quite sufficient. Some few men have been known to dispense with the services of the best man and have only ushers, but this is not exactly correct at a fashionable church wedding. The ushers can be very easily omitted if the ceremony is to take place at the house.
The bridegroom presents his best man and his ushers with their ties, their gloves, and tie pin, which is a souvenir of the occasion, as well as their boutonnières, or "buttonholes," to accept the last English expression, to be worn at the ceremony.
The tie, gloves, and tie pin are given to the best man and the ushers at the farewell bachelor dinner; the boutonnières are ordered at the florist's and sent to them on the morning of the wedding. Lilies of the valley are the favorite wedding flowers, but the floral arrangements are regulated by the bride's family, who possibly have a certain color or flower scheme for the church decorations, and the "buttonholes" must be in keeping.
The bridegroom generally provides hansoms or coupés to drive his ushers to the church from their respective residences. As the bride's family provides the carriages for the cortège, these other vehicles may be dismissed at the church.
The bridegroom himself drives to the church in a hansom with his best man.
If it is a house wedding these carriages need not be provided. In this country the bridegroom does not give the bridesmaids any token or present. In England he presents them with brooches or bracelets. In New York the bride presents her maid of honor and bridesmaids with souvenirs in the shape of lace pins, brooches, or bracelets.
The bridegroom always gives to his bride a handsome wedding present, which is to be worn or carried on the happy day. It may be a diamond tiara, it may be a diamond star, it may be jewels of any kind which he can ascertain would be acceptable to her, or it may be a prayer book. The bridegroom does not provide any part of the bride's costume.