If the bride should carry flowers instead of a prayer book, this special bouquet is the gift of the bridegroom, but the flowers for the bridesmaids are provided by the bride.
The expenses of the wedding notices in the newspapers and the fee to the clergyman are paid by the bridegroom through the agency of the best man.
The wedding ring is of bright burnished gold, perfectly plain. The date of the wedding and the initials of the happy pair should be engraved on the inside. The ring is confided to the best man, who produces it at the proper time during the ceremony.
It is customary for a prospective bridegroom to purchase or, rather, to have a wedding outfit made. Very elaborate affairs of this kind are not in good taste, and anything which suggests the occasion is certainly vulgar. Beyond the clothes for the ceremony, there should be a general overhauling of the wardrobe and shirts, undervests, underclothes, handkerchiefs, and such articles must, if any of them are needed or have fallen into decay, be supplied or renewed. All this is a matter of taste.
The bachelor farewell dinner is now a recognized institution. Perhaps next to the ceremony itself, it is regarded as the most important social function of the wedding week.
If you are a member of a club, your farewell dinner should be given there in one of the private dining rooms. Otherwise it is perfectly correct to have it at a well-known restaurant or hotel, in, of course, a private dining room. You may have it at your own house, and, should your parents be living and you reside with them, it can be given at home. The club, however, is really first choice. Sometimes the strictly bachelor dinner is dispensed with, and in its stead a dinner is given to the entire bridal party by the family of the bride. This does away with the presumed selfishness of the "stag" dinner, and the possible excuse for some one or more of the guests to become exhilarated—a finale, I am grieved to say, that has happened on more than one occasion.
At the stag dinner you should have your best man, your ushers, and several of your friends. You can invite a married man or so, especially if he is a very jolly fellow, and it is expected that some one or more of your bride's relatives will be included. Twelve is a good number, but, of course, never thirteen, because women are generally superstitious, and should this become known to your future one it might cause her great mental anxiety.
The gloves, ties, and tie or scarf pins to be given to the best man and ushers are placed in white boxes tied with white satin ribbon and put in the outer room to be handed to each man as he bids adieu. Perhaps it might be more prudent to place them at the covers, but it would hardly be good form, as there would be in that case several of the guests without favors. And, besides, a dinner with favors is not permissible in these days.
Boutonnières of lilies of the valley should be also placed at each cover. The menu cards should be simple but tasteful. Elaborate menus are not now in the best form. In fact, with a bachelor dinner, as with all functions of this kind, elegant simplicity should be the predominating characteristic; cut glass and silver are all that is required. In the center of the table a basket, or, better, a silver jardinière of roses, is the only floral decoration. During the course of the dinner these flowers are removed and are sent to the bride-elect. It is sometimes the custom—and a very pretty one—for each guest to note a sentiment on a menu card or simply his own name, and have that sent also with the flowers.
The dinner itself can, but need not be very elaborate. I do not like a dinner of many courses. It is usual to serve sherry and whisky and caviare sandwiches in the anteroom before dinner, and also to have cigars and cigarettes galore there as well as at table, although it is not permissible to smoke before the cheese is served. I would recommend raw oysters, a clear soup, a bit of fish with sliced cucumber—an attractive entrée; a fillet with vegetables, canvas-back duck, cheese and salad, coffee, and fruit.