He was late at his appointments or showed himself overanxious and even coarse at the last moment, when the situation was most delicate, or made some uncalled-for remark. Thus, to one girl who was already on the way to a hotel with him he said: “Ah, all women are alike, they all run after men and when they catch one they are happy!” She looked at him with lifted brows: “Is that what you think of a girl who goes with you? Then I want to have nothing to do with you ...” and turning around she walked off.
That does not prevent him from running again after girls; he even accosts married women on the street but he always complains about his poor luck. At the same time his sexual desire is not excessive. His physical requirements never cause him any uneasiness. It is a psychic urge that drives him to seek women. At the same time he longs for friends but then, such friends as he seeks are also not to be found. Only the last friend was such a one because “he understood him.” They went to brothels together. That was the first time he experienced a really strong orgasm. We know this custom on the part of men to be a convenient mask for homosexuality.
The motives of his conduct are revealed in a dream which throws considerable light on the significance of homosexuality.
We have recognized for some time that this is a case of latent homosexuality, repressed on the negative principle of aversion.
Xaver speaks incessantly of women, thinks of them all day long, so as to avoid thinking of men. He tries to lean on women, but never becomes intimate with them because the negative force that drives him is not powerful enough. The better woman is for him a “noli me tangere,” he suffers from an inhibition which keeps him from every woman who is not paid. The prostitute is not considered a woman and, besides, her charm is increased by the fact that she has intercourse with other men. Through her it is therefore possible to give an outlet to a portion of the homosexual tendency.
We shall now turn our attention to his dream. Naecke[22] justly remarks that the dream is the best reagent for homosexuality. Unfortunately he was not familiar at the time with the revelations of dream analysis and he paid attention only to the manifest content. How much richer in meaning the dream shows itself when we learn to read it and to interpret its hidden symbolism.
The Dream:
I am pursued by men and fear they are about to do something to me. One man in particular, brandishing a big sword, is very hotly on my trail and already he touches me from behind with the tip edge of his sword, a curved thing like the Yatagan used by Turks. I run to the cemetery to mother’s grave. I find there my cousin (female) who is also afraid of the robbers. First we try to hide, then we look around carefully and see that the coast is clear. We leave the cemetery together in a carriage and we drive upon an endless dark road. I snuggle up to her, as if for protection against the robbers and I am ashamed of my unmanly attitude.
Of course it is not proper to conclude that a dreamer is homosexual merely because the dream carries a homosexual meaning. For, as I have shown in my Language of Dreams, every dream is bisexual, consequently homosexual traits may be found in every dream. The dream only portrays once more man’s bisexual nature and even the dreams of homosexuals are, without exception, bisexual. We see through them merely the degree of the repressed homosexuality and the dreams enable us to recognize more easily the motives which impell the subjects to adopt a monosexual path....[23]
This dream begins with a typical portrayal of a homosexual pursuit. The subject is really pursued by his homosexual thoughts. The great curved sword is a well-known phallic symbol. That the sword touches him from behind is something easily interpreted. Equally obvious is the reason why the sword appears curved when we learn that his brother has a hypospadia and a phallus of that shape so that medical advice was even sought on the matter. The pursuer had a big heavy beard exactly like his brother and the same figure. Thus we see that the brother, who stands out of the mass of pursuing males, in a certain measure typifies the homosexual pursuit.