Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis

by Wilhelm Stekel

He flies to his mother’s grave in the cemetery. His mother shall save him from homosexuality. She, the representative of femininity, is the one to whom he flies, when pursued by men. The cousin is the wife of another brother. She represents the typical incest compromise. Many neurotics who are emotionally fixed upon their family, finally marry a cousin. The cousin, whom he finds at the grave, is his savior and he starts with her upon the dark path of life, a half man....

He tells that he was to marry the woman but she became instead his brother’s wife because he kept hesitating and would not make up his mind. But he had the fancy that he could be her sweetheart. He is specially fond of his brothers’ wives and his sisters.... He has numberless phantasies revolving around incestuous deeds. His two sisters also figure in these day dreams.... He grew accustomed to talk over sexual matter with his sister not without reason. He tells her all his adventures with preconceived watchfulness. Thus he told her also of the late acquaintance, as mentioned above, and was advised, as she had previously advised him in a number of similar instances, to keep away. Unconsciously he was awaiting from her the reply: Why go out of your way? Why seek in other women what you can find in me? ...

We understand now the inhibition which stands between him and women of “the better class.” The latter stand for the sister and the mother. The incest taboo is what stands in his way. He looks for a true adventure but cannot find it. He looks for his sister and he looks for the man. His brothers’ wives are the objects of his jealousy and his yearning at the same time. With his questions and problems he goes to his sisters-in-law, never to his brothers. His conscience is uneasy with regard to his brothers. In their presence he is always timid and ill at ease. He is in love with his older brother though he does not acknowledge the fact to himself. His brother’s strength and energy rouse his admiration. Occasionally his brother sang. The voice lingers in his ears so sweetly that he declares his brother to be the best singer in the world. He feels that his brother neglects him. The brother does not seem to notice how ill he is or how much he suffers. Once he was quite a jolly fellow but now (since giving up masturbation) he is mostly depressed. But the brother takes no notice of it and never asks him how he feels or how it goes with his health. If he only could quit his brother’s business! He belittles himself in order to cling to the brother more lovingly. He could not endure being away from his brother. He does poorly during his business trips because it is against his wish to travel at all and because he is jealous of his brother’s large business.

His attitude towards the second brother, who was his playmate in childhood, is even more tense. He never visits that brother and when he cannot avoid meeting him has but little to say. He shows that peculiar uneasiness towards the brother which persons manifest when they try to cover a certain erotic attitude.

The following characteristic dream may be instructive at this point:

I am in my brother’s store ... He puts before me an assortment of underwear to mark up. I refuse to do it and step out of the store saying: “Brother can kiss me....”

His brother advised him to get married. This is the incentive to the dream language “underwear to be marked.” But he loves only his brother. The remark, “er kann mich gern haben,” (equivalent to the colloquialism, “he can kiss me,” and its more vulgar variants) plainly embodies a reference to a sexual act.

Incidentally anal irritation is one of his strongest paraphilias. He suffers more or less continually of “anal itching,” which is at times so unbearable that he cannot sleep. He consulted for this complaint a physician who found no local trouble and who declared that it was merely a “nervous” itching.

The fact is this subject is now on the point of becoming a homosexual. Some precipitating occasion and his homosexuality is bound to become manifest. His last friend is dearer to him than all the girls.... This is shown clearly by the fact that he sent him the ticket which he had bought for his lady friend. A portion of the hidden impulse had broken forth on that occasion. Usually he covers his homosexual leanings very cleverly. His friends and colleagues at the office think he is a lucky Don Juan and have no idea that he never enjoys the ultimate advantage of the role he plays. They see him always in the company of girls, always going around with pretty women; he runs after them on the street, he goes to public places with them; at the office he speaks of nothing else but his conquests and new adventures.

But not to his brothers. He never mentions any sexual matters especially in the presence of his younger brother, the one who was his playmate in childhood.