The analysis did not last long. But during the very first few weeks there came to light experiences with this brother which explained the subject’s reticence.
Considering the remarkable fact that Xaver was animated by the desire to be a regular Don Juan we have something with which to contrast the extent of his moral qualms. For a long time he was very pious and then all of a sudden he turned into a free thinker. Analysis discloses that his religious piety still persists undiminished. Don Juan stands to his mind only for the unreachable ideal of a free man, a man undisturbed in his actions by any inhibitory feelings. But he invariably hears an inner voice calling to him, at the last, supreme moment of action: Don’t! It is sinful.
It is the voice of his mother, who never failed to dwell on moral themes, who warned him against the dangers of the big City, his mother whom he so loved and honored. How often his dreams lead him to the cemetery where his mother lies buried, as if to conjure up before his eyes the dear image and to remind him to avoid all evil and to follow in the Lord’s righteous path!
This case illustrates the significant role of family environment in the genesis of that homosexuality which Hirschfeld calls genuine. We find a fixation upon the sisters, also a fixation upon the mother, and the passionate love for the brothers, particularly for the older one, with whose wife he sees himself driving off in a dream. That cousin really stands for his brother. Through her union with his brother she had acquired a new attraction for him. Before her marriage he was rather indifferent towards her. The homosexual experiences with his younger brother date back to his 16th year.
His craving for love affairs, the impulsion to women, was but a flight away from the pursuit of man.
The next patient shows an entirely different constellation. Whereas Xaver was clever enough to free himself from the terrible women through his peculiar tactlessness, the following subject reassured himself by conjuring up an ailment which became very troublesome, it is true, but which proved an effective means of defence.
Mr. Christoph—we shall designate the subject by that name—is a victim of chronic stomach trouble which, according to the opinion of various physicians, is of a nervous origin. He has attacks of sharp gastric pains, and loss of appetite so that he has grown very thin and looks like an advanced victim of consumption. (Lungs and all other organs are in excellent condition.) He cannot digest any meat, any attempt to do so produces intense pain, and if he swallows so much as a mouthful he is likely to vomit. He denies that he ever masturbated, and claims that his sexual life is entirely normal. Formerly he was in the habit of going around with girls, but it gave him no pleasure, probably because prostitutes are disgusting to him, and with other girls he did not care to become too intimate for ethical reasons. He would like to be hypnotized so that he should be cured of his aversion to food. I decline hypnosis and advise, instead, a complete analysis. Only in that way may he learn the way to a complete cure. He insists he has not withheld anything in his talk with me. He has told me everything and wants hypnosis by all means but this I refuse.
He says he will think it over. My questions took him by surprise. He was unprepared. He is one of those men who have to think matters over and don’t make up their mind in a hurry. One of his rules through which he learned to protect himself against life’s sudden perplexities is: “Don’t lose your head. Think it over.”
He calls a few times continually talking about his pains. One day he states that he has about made up his mind to quit. But next day he returns and brings me a lengthy written document: “You have asked me repeatedly about my dreams. I have written down my last night’s dreams. I always dream a lot and my dreams are always lively and about like those of last night. I have also brought along my true confessions to let you know what I really am. You will see from the confession of my life history what brought about my illness. I see I cannot get along any more trying to keep it all to myself. Let the truth come out.”