“A writer says that there is no room in this country for anarchists. But I think we could find room for a few in here.”
“The one who cherishes the picture of his or her mother is scarcely beyond hope, no matter how far from the narrow path.”
“It is admitted that the tariff is the mother of trusts, but their papa, like the father of John D. Rockefeller, is clouded in mystery.”
“The people of Pennsylvania are now convinced that the contractor who built the bootblack stand in the capitol is a polished rascal.”
“When the courts register a fine against Standard oil, John D. chalks it down on a piece of ice and then places the ice where the sun will strike it.”
“With a few expert trainers and Governor Johnson for jockey the meek-eyed mule is apt to show his heels to all competitors in the presidential race of 1912.”
“Throw a few ponies of whiskey into a young man who does not possess horse sense, then arm him with a Colt pistol, and he will make an ass out of himself.”
“A French count, who is not throwing his feet under the dining room table as often as he would like to, will soon sail for this country where he expects to cop out another meal ticket.”
“In pleading his own case a prisoner in a western state quoted from Shakespeare and was rapped down by his honor who said that no eastern boo-gang talk would be tolerated in his court.”
“It is not near so disgusting to see a man with a little streamlet of tobacco juice wending its way through his chinwoodlets, as to see a woman chewing snuff and the rag at the same time.”