CARVING.
Ceremony does not, in any thing, more commonly and completely triumph over comfort, than in the administration of “the honours of the table.”
Those who serve out the loaves and fishes seldom seem to understand that he is the best carver who fills the plates of the greatest number of guests, in the least portion of time.
To effect this, fill the plates and send them round, instead of asking each individual if they choose soup, fish, &c. or what particular part they prefer; for, as they cannot all be choosers, you will thus escape making any invidious distinctions.
A dexterous CARVER[43-*] (especially if he be possessed with that determined enemy to ceremony and sauce, a keen appetite,) will help half a dozen people in half the time one of your would-be-thought polite folks wastes in making civil faces, &c. to a single guest.
It would save a great deal of time, &c. if POULTRY, especially large turkeys and geese, were sent to table ready cut up. ([No. 530.*])
Fish that is fried should be previously divided into such portions as are fit to help at table. (See [No. 145].)
A prudent carver will cut fair,[43-†] observe an equitable distribution of the dainties he is serving out, and regulate his helps, by the proportion which his dish bears to the number he has to divide it among, taking into this reckoning the quantum of appetite the several guests are presumed to possess.
“Study their genius, caprices, goût—
They, in return, may haply study you:
Some wish a pinion, some prefer a leg,
Some for a merry-thought, or sidesbone beg,
The wings of fowls, then slices of the round
The trail of woodcock, of codfish the sound.
Let strict impartiality preside,
Nor freak, nor favour, nor affection guide.”
From the Banquet.
The guest who wishes to ensure a hearty welcome, and frequent invitation to the board of hospitality, may calculate that the “easier he is pleased, the oftener he will be invited.” Instead of unblushingly demanding of the fair hostess that the prime “tit-bit” of every dish be put on your plate, receive (if not with pleasure, or even content) with the liveliest expressions of thankfulness whatever is presented to you, and forget not to praise the cook, and the same shall be reckoned unto you even as the praise of the mistress.