"Why? Because the Council of Trint won't lave us—that's why."
"Well, well, now, but I'm sorry fur that, fur I can only give ye a bite of bread and cheese and a glass of something hot. Would that be any harrum, sir?"
"Harrum! by no manes, woman. Sure we must live any way, and bread and cheese is not forbid!"
"Nayther whiskey punch?"
"Nayther that."
"Well, thin, yer riverence, would it be any harrum fur me to give a toast?"
"By no manes, Mrs. O'Brien. Toast away as much as ye like, bedad!"
"Well, thin, here's to the Council of Trint, fur if it keeps us from atin', it doesn't keep us from drinkin'!"
57. THE SUN STANDING STILL
James Russell Lowell, when concluding an after-dinner speech in England, made a happy hit by introducing the story of a Methodist preacher at a camp-meeting, of whom he had heard when he was young. He was preaching on Joshua ordering the sun to stand still: "My hearers," he said, "there are three motions of the sun; the first is the straightforward or direct motion of the sun, the second is the retrograde or backward motion of the sun, and the third is the motion mentioned in our text—'the sun stood still.' Now, gentlemen, I do not know whether you see the application of that story to after-dinner oratory. I hope you do. The after-dinner orator at first begins and goes straight forward—that is the straightforward motion of the sun; next he goes back and begins to repeat himself a little, and that is the retrograde or backward motion of the sun; and at last he has the good sense to bring himself to an end, and that is the motion mentioned in our text of the sun standing still."