The feelings of the injured lady may be imagined when she received this reply: "The cabbage nearly all eaten! Well, I must get over and borrow some before it is all gone!"
73. DISGUSTED OFFICER
Some years since a party of Indians drove off all the live-stock at Fort Lancaster. A few days afterward Captain —— was passing through the post, and stopped a couple of days for rest. While there an enthusiastic officer took him out to show him the trail of the bad Indians, how they came, which way they went, etc. After following the trail for some distance the Captain turned to his guide and exclaimed: "Look here; if you want to find any Indians, you can find them; I haven't lost any, and am going back to camp."
74. IRATE PRISONER
A man arrested for stealing chickens was brought to trial. The case was given to the jury, who brought him in guilty, and the judge sentenced him to three months' imprisonment. The jailer was a jovial man, fond of a smile, and feeling particularly good on that particular day, considered himself insulted when the prisoner looking around his cell told him it was dirty, and not fit for a hog to be put in. One word brought on another, till finally the jailer told the prisoner if he did not behave himself he would put him out. To which the prisoner replied: "I will give you to understand, sir, I have as good a right here as you have!"
75. TRUTHFUL PRISONER
The eccentric old King of Prussia, father of Frederick the Great, while visiting the Potsdam prison, was much interested in the professions of innocence the prisoners made. Some blamed their conviction on the prejudice of judges; others, upon the perjury of witnesses or the tricks of bad companions. At length he accosted a sturdy, closely-fettered prisoner with the remark, "I suppose you are innocent, too."
"No, your Majesty," was the unexpected response. "I am guilty, and richly deserve all I get."
"Here, you turnkey," thundered the monarch, "come and turn out this rascal, quick, before he corrupts this fine lot of innocent and abused people that you have about you."