Tell him to go ahead. That’s more than the janitor has ever done.


I went out to feed the horse this morning, and he had his bridle on and couldn’t eat a bit.


“I never play whist except for fun.” “Neither do I; only somebody else generally has the fun.”


“Billy, does your mother give you anything if you take your medicine without crying?” “No; but she gives me something if I don’t.”


“What if I were one of those husbands, my dear, who get up cross in the morning and bang things about because the coffee is cold?” Wife: “I would make it hot for you.”