Konduktor. Not a red!
President. We shant want yu,—the Pordunk valley rale rode haz got done furnishing konduktors with these things.
Q.–What did Adam and Eve weigh when they left Paradise?
A.–They weighed ankor and haint dropt it since.
He sold the mule for 3 dollars'
Worth ov honey in the comb,
Then got himself between the shafts,
And hauld the waggin home.
DECEMBER MISSCELLANY.
GEMINI, THE ZODIAK TWINS.
I have asked several literary people if they would tell me whoze two children the Gemini waz, but they all shook their heds, and begun tew whissell. Maybe they thought i waz a kondem phool. I would just like tew know all about this. Thare iz 2 things in this life for which we are never fully prepared, and them iz twins. The zodiak twins are a kupple ov nice little phellows, if their piktur aint mistaken on the subjekt I never hav saw them only in their pikturs. Twins are two very interesting acksidents tew happen in sumboddy elses family, but one twin at a time suits me the most. In the zodiak sighns, the Gemini akt on the arms. I have alwus noticed that when a person haz twins the sighns are in the arms.