Thare iz a grate menny folks in this world who are like little flies; grate bores without meaning or knowing it.
Great iniquitys seem tew baptize themselfs. If the devil had only been guilty of petty larcency he wouldn’t hav bin heard ov agin.
The hardest thing that enny man kan do iz tew fall down on the ice when it iz wet, and get up and praze the Lord.
All the good injuns die young.
How menny men thare is who argy, just as a bull dus, chained tew a post; they beller and paw, but they kant git away from the post.
I hav herd a grate deal ced about “broken hartes,” and thare may be a fu ov them, but mi experiense is that nex tew the gizzard, the harte is the tuffest peace ov meat in the whole critter.
I hav finally kum tu the konklusion, that a good reliable sett ov bowels, iz wurth more tu a man, than enny quantity ov brains.
A man with one idee alwus put me in mind ov an old goose a tryin to hatch out a paving stun.
Thare iz just about az mutch real humor in the best ov geniuses az thare iz juise in a lemmon: one good squeeze takes it out, and thare iz nothing but seeds and skin left.