Maxims tew be good should be az sharp az vinegar, az short az pi krust, and az trew az a pair ov steelyards.
A nickname will outlast all a man’s deeds, be they good, bad, or indifferent.
Phun iz the best phisick i kno ov; it iz both cheap and durable.
Conshience iz our private sekretary.
The three gratest luxurys ov life are, a klear conshience, a good appetight, and sound slumber.
Pashion iz like fire, a good servant, but a bad master.
The gay are alwus looking ahead, and the sad are always looking back; it iz a grate pitty they don’t change works with each other.
A pedant iz a very learned individual, who mistakes a pop-gun for a pistill.
Perseveranse will conker enny thing but muskeeters; the only way tew conker them iz tew bak out.
A bigot iz a kind ov human ram, with a good deal ov wool over hiz eyes, but no horns.