Take all the interest out ov this world, and there wouldn’t be friendship enuff left for seed.
Sekrets are a burden, and that iz one reason why we are anxious to hav sumboddy help us carry them.
I hav seen men so full ov vanity, that they could not endure the sight ov a peacock, with his tale on parade.
The most excruciating bore I know is excessive politeness.
If I was called upon tew describe Eloquence, I should do it az I would a suit ov clothes,—‘ov suitable texture and a perfect fit.’
Gravity iz no more an evidence ov wisdom, than it iz ov ill natur.
The greater the man, the less hiz virteus appear, and the larger hiz faults.
The man who hain’t got an enemy, iz really poor.
Don’t mistake vivacity for wit, thare iz just az mutch diffrence as thare iz between lightning and a lightning bug.
No man ever yet undertook tew alter his natur by substituting sum invenshun ov his own, but what made a botch job ov it.