That, some peoples are fond ov bragging about their ansesstors, and their grate descent, when in fack, their grate descent iz jist what’s the matter ov them.
We are told “that an honest man is the noblest work ov God”—but the demand for the work has been so limited, that i hav thought a large share ov the fust edishun must still be in the author’s hands.
I never bet enny stamps on the man who iz always telling what he would have did if he had bin thare; I hav notised that this kind never git thare.
Success in life iz verry apt tew make us forget the time when we wasn’t much. It iz jist so with the frog on the jump; he kant remember when he waz a tadpole—but other folks kan.
I always advise short sermons, espeshily on a hot Sunday. If a minister cant strike ile in boring 40 minutes, he has either got a poor gimblet, or else he is boring in the rong plase.
Thare is 2 kinds of politeness, the ripe, and the too mutch ripe politeness; a goose has a grate deal of this last kind ov politeness; i have seen them lower their heds while going into a barn door, that was 18 foot high.
God save the phools! and don’t let them run out, for if it want for them, wise men couldn’t get a livin.
Pudding and milk is a good thing tew git happy on, but too mutch pudding and milk, even, will worry a man.
The man who kan ware a paper collar a hole week and keap, it klean, aint fit for enny thing else.