I hav alwus notissed one thing, that when a cunning man burns hiz fingers every boddy hollers for joy.
Grate men should only allow their most trusty friends tew see them in their hours ov relaxashun.
I sumtimes distinguish between tallent and genius in this way: A man ov tallent kan make a whissell out of a pig’s tale, but it takes a man of genius tew make the tale.
I kant tell now whether a goose stands on one leg so mutch to rest the leg az to rest the goose. I wish sum scientifick man would tell me all about this.
Thare iz a mitey site ov difference whether Mr. John Smith will appear at Booth’s Theater az Othello, or whether Othello will appear az Mr. John Smith.
I had rather be a child again than to be the autokrat ov the world.
Thare iz newmerous individuals in the land who look upon what they hain’t got az the only things worth having.
Thare iz thoze who kant laff with impunity; if they aint stiff and sollum they aint nothing.
A fu branes in a man’s hed are az noizy az shot in a blown up bladder.
One man ov genius to 97 thousand four hundred and 42 men ov tallent iz just about the rite perporshun for aktual bizzness.