Natur turns him out loose into the world, jist as she duz her other works, with all hiz fakultys in good order, but like a ram in a bak lot, he undertaiks tew knok down a stun fence with hiz head, and finds the stun fence too much for the ockashun.
He often haz a hed phull ov branes, but like a swarm ov beeze, they keep up sich a buzzing they bewilder him.
The kondem phool generally lacks but one thing tew make him all the the suckcess he could ask for, and that one thing iz common sense.
Common sense iz all greek tew these kind ov phellows, they kan often rite poetry that reads az smooth and sweet az ile and molassis mixt together, and kan even deliver lekturs all around the kuntry, but one dose ov common sense would 344 take all the starch out ov them, and leave them az limpsey az the nek ov a ded goslin.
The kondem phool iz the kauze ov most all trubble thare iz in this world, he ain’t alwus malishus, but iz alwus a phool.
I divide the populashun ov the whole world into 2 heaps, and out ov respect for the parable ov the virgins in the bible, i call 5 ov them wize and 5 ov them foolish.
It is verry easy tew be a kondem phool, enny boddy kan be one, and not suspekt it.
Thare iz a large invoice ov phools just now pressing upon the market, but the market for them iz stiddy, the demand alwus being phull up tew the supply.
I rekolekt ov onst saying, upon a memorabel ockashun, (i dont rekolek the ockashun now,) God bless the phools, and don’t let them run out, for if it want for them, the rest ov the world would be bothered tew git a good living.
Among the list ov prominent phools, i take the liberty tew introduce the following: