That i will liv within mi inkum, if i hav tew git trusted tew do it.
That i will be polite tew evry boddy, except muskeeters and bed-bugs.
That i wont advise enny boddy, until i kno the kind ov advise they are anxious tew follow.
That i wont wear enny more tite boots, if i hav tew go barefoot tew do it.
That i wont eat enny more chicken soup with a one-tined fork.
That i wont swop dogs with no man, unless i kan swop two for one.
That i wont objekt tew enny man on ackount ov hiz color, unless he happens tew be blue.
That i wont sware enny, unless i am put under oath.
That i wont beleave in total depravity, only in gin at 4 shillings a gallon.
That poverty may be a blessing, but if it iz, it iz a blessing in disguise.