That i will take mi whisky hereafter straight—straight tew the gutter.
That the world owes me a living—provided i earn it.
That i will stick tew mi taylor az long az he will stick tew me.
That i wont swop enny hosses with a deakon.
That no man shall beat me in politeness, not so long az politeness kontinues tew be az cheap az it iz now.
That i wont hav enny religious kreed miself, but will respekt every boddy else’s.
That if lovely woman smaks me on one cheek, i will turn her the other also.
That if a man kalls me a phool, i wont ask him to prove it.
That i will lead a moral life, even if i lose a good deal ov phun by it. That if a man tells me a mule wont kik, i will beleave what he sez without trieing it.