That if enny boddy loozes even a goose i will weep with him, for it iz a tuff bizness tew looze a goose.
That if i ever do git a hen that kan lay 2 eggs a day, i shall insist upon her keeping one ov the eggs on hand for a sinking phund.
That it iz no disgrace tew be bit bi a dog unless he duz it the seckond time.
That it iz just az natral tew be born ritch az poor, but it iz seldum so convenient.
That one ov the riskyest things tew straddle iz the bak ov a 60 day note.
That the best time tew repent ov a blunder iz just before the blunder is made.
That i will try hard tew be honest, but it will be just mi darn luk tew miss it.
That i won’t grow enny kats. Spontaneous kats hav killed the bissness.
That i will love my mother-in-law if it takes all the money i kan earn tew do it.
That i beleave real good lies are gitting skarser and skarser every day.