Advice, consolashun, pitty, remonstrance, and enkouragement, free.
Klub-room open nite and day.
A skillful doktor in attendance who understands sowing up tares in the flesh, and removeing blak and blue spots.
Man iz our brother, and we haven’t learnt yet that rum haz destroyed the relashunship.
The accumulating funds tew be invested in all kinds ov decent amuzements.
Every member or applikant owning a good dogg, are invited tew bring the dogg.
No muzzles on man or kritter allowed in this club.
Men owning fast trotters, are requested to visit us, and hear us talk hoss, and see us drink root beer.
We had rather undertake tew make ten men temperate than one total abstinent.
This klub never gives a man up untill he kant tell the truth without lieing.