Make my heart tew glisten with charity, but teach mi taylor and shumaker how tew wait for their munny and be happy.
Let mi heart feast on the truth, but smile thou upon mi kork leg and periwig nobby.
Remove far from me all gluttony, but preserve mi appetight for toast with a quail on it in all its original buty.
Teach me tew shun all decepshun, but help me tew marry a big pile at last, making sum maiden or yung widdo happy.
Take away from my heart all envy, but grant, kind Fortune, that mi hat kant be beat, nor the lavender tint ov mi gloves be exceeded.
Fill me with courage true and reddy, but if enny man offers tew smote me, giv tew mi feet the fleetness ov venson and mi legs the speed ov the roebuck.
Remove all affektashun far from me, but enable me tew keep up appearances, if i hav tew cheat a little tew do it.
Abuv all things with modesty shower me. Yea! make me all dripping wet, but don’t let me looze a good chance mi nu koat tew spread before the eyes ov men filled with envy.
Make me at all times ov the poor heathen thoughtful, at church not forgetting the platter tew annoint with a 10 cent plaster.
Remove from me all gra hares, and pimples, all bunyons, and korns pestiverous, and grant that mi calfs may still fatten on saw durst, and mi cheeks feed upon plumpers, and mi harte ever buble and bile over with mersy.