Couldn’t Hear the Waterfall

Guide:—“When the ladies are through talking, your Honor will be able to hear the waterfall over there!”

Beautiful Sunsets

Stranger:—“You are a happy people up here in the mountains; you always have the beautiful spectacle of the rising and setting sun before you!”

Farmer:—“Yes; but excuse me, doesn’t that happen in the city, too?”

Soft and Tender

Clerk (on the Rigi):—“Gracious, how this glorious sunset makes a fellow feel soft and tender. Just now they are closing the offices at home in Frankfort!”

Misunderstood

Physician (to a newly-arrived guest at a water-cure):—“The nature of your illness requires that you follow the rules here strictly. Drink three glasses of water every morning; after each glass, walk for half an hour. Exercise is the main thing. Strict diet’! Three cigars a day: one after breakfast, one after dinner, one after supper. Come to see me again in three days.”

Physician (after three days):—“Well, how does the cure agree with you?”