"That question is hardly fair, my dear."
"Why not?"
"If I were to say yes you wouldn't like it, and to say never again wouldn't sound nice."
THE PHRENOLOGIST—"Yes, sir, by feeling the bumps on your head I can tell exactly what sort of man you are."
MR. DOOLAN—"Oi belave it will give ye more ov an oidea wot sort ov a woman me woife is."—Jack Canuck.
Private Nelson got his leave, and made what he conceived to be the best use of his holiday by getting married.
On the journey back at the station he gave the gateman his marriage certificate in mistake for his return railway ticket.
The official studied it carefully, and then said: