"What have you here?" asked the fresh young man of the waiter at a first-class restaurant.

"Everything, sir."

"Everything?" sneeringly, "Have it served at once."

"Hash for one," yelled the waiter.


When we first dined at a cafe
We feared they'd drop their trays, but later
We learned, somewhat to our dismay,
It takes—as scores of men will say—
A big "tip" to upset a waiter.


"Irish stew," said the restaurant guest.

"Faith, I am Irish, tew," said the waiter.